10 of the best funny dad quotes for Father’s Day or any day
Andy Richter once said, “The hardest thing about being a parent is these goddamned kids.” You know what? He’s kinda right. As much as some of us enjoy the joys of kids, many of also need a laugh at the end of the day. Happy Father’s Day from all of us at Jumble & Flow!
“I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.”
— Kevin Hart
“Men should always change diapers. It’s a very rewarding experience. It’s mentally cleansing. It’s like washing dishes, but imagine if the dishes were your kids, so you really love the dishes.” — Chris Martin
“My 4-year-old son gave me a handmade card for Father’s Day. Maybe for Christmas I’ll draw him a picture of some toys.” — Jim Gaffigan
“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” — Mark Twain
“Good parenting means investing in your child’s future, which is why I am saving to buy mine a hoverboard someday.” — Lin Manuel Miranda
“You don’t need drugs when you have a [baby]. You’re awake, you’re paranoid, you smell bad … it’s the same thing.” — Robin Williams
“Four-year-old: Tell me a scary story! Me: One time little people popped out of your mom, and they never stopped asking questions. Four-year-old: Why?” — James Breakwell
“I rescind my early statement, ‘I could never fall in love with a girl who regularly poops her pants.’ (I hadn’t met my daughter yet).” — Dax Shepard
“Having children is like living in a frat house. Nobody sleeps, everything’s broken and there’s a lot of throwing up.” — Ray Romano
“Raising kids may be a thankless job with ridiculous hours, but at least the pay sucks.” — Jim Gaffigan
“A father carries pictures where his money used to be.” — Steve Martin
“Sometimes I am amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets.” — John Kinnear
These are just 10 funny dad quotes — oh, whoops! We miscounted — there are actually more than 10. What are we missing? Share some of your favorite quotes in comments.
