I’m just about at the end of my rope with my husband. It’s impossible to have a conversation with him. He is silent most of the time, or he’ll answer questions with a yes or no and that’s it. If I go to him with a problem, he just sits there like a bump on a log. He’s a great guy but sometimes I feel like I’m just talking to myself and it’s getting really frustrating. Help!
Boy, oh, boy, do I feel your pain! I’m married to a wonderful man who is in that log bump camp. And I confess, it used to be, and sometimes still is, frustrating. But I’m not going to coddle you, Molly. It is up to you and me to make fix this ourselves because, honestly, I think these guys just cannot help it.
As the book says, while we are from Venus and men are from Mars, some men are actually from galaxies far, far away. In my case, my husband is on the spectrum and just negotiates the world (and conversations) differently than I do. No amount of teeth-gnashing, admonitions, or the silent treatment on my part affected the silent treatments on his part. But there are some things you/we can do to preserve our marriages and our sanity:
I hope this was helpful. This is something I’m still struggling with myself, but it gets better. Good luck, and let me know if this helps you to feel less crazy.
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Dixie Laite has been a second-grade teacher and mechanical bull operator, and for the past 25 years she’s worked for a variety of TV networks as a writer, editorial director, trainer, advice columnist, even an on-air personality. But primarily she’s trotted around New York City in one cowboy shirt or another, lurking around flea markets, gyms, and anywhere they’ll hand her French toast. Currently she lounges around her apartment with one husband, one dog, five parrots, and roughly 2,000 pairs of shoes. Dixie is the main lady behind Age Against the Machine, a column about empowering women over 50. Sign up for the Jumble & Flowdown newsletter to stay in the know about Dixie’s latest columns.
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